So I'm sitting here reading my old Xanga out of sheer boredom.
I Googled my normal username and it popped it, so I thought "Why not?"
Can we say Memory Lane?
It's like reliving half of High School and whole series of REALLY BAD decisions. Oh past self, why couldn't you have been smarter?
I mean, I can understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling, I can understand why I did the things that I did (mostly because I was lacking any sort of emotional out-let, short of acting out, I had almost no sense of privacy that whole time), but Dear Lord were they stupid ideas!
Like, I can understand why I was mad that when Boo got caught stealing (by the cops, and sent to jail for like a night, my Uncle had to FLY BACK to TEXAS from UTAH to get him) that they let him throw a Good-Bye Dinner at his favorite restaurant with all of his friends, and then when he got to Utah his punishment was that he had to move from all of his friends and all he's ever know, oh, and he can only drive to school and back.
Okay, can we just pretty please point out the fact that 3 out of the 4 years of High School I had to switch schools for one reason or nothing, and it was never anything that I did.
Can we also point out that what he did was CRIME. I believe it was technically considered a FELONY.
So then, in comparison to that, I got shipped back to Oregon with maybe 4 hours notice (came home and my bags were all packed and I was told) because I SKIPPED SCHOOL (multiple times, yes).
Is that seriously reasonable?
Yes, skipping school is/was wrong. Skipping school to spend time with my (then) boyfriend that I wasn't technically supposed to be spending time with? Doubly wrong. I understand and get that. But I do feel that some the measures taken were a bit extreme.
So, while I understand WHY I did the things I did, I also realize that they were dumb. While my reaction was justified to my oh-so-supremely wise teenaged mind, I can also understand why my Aunt and Uncle did the things they did. Why they usually went to extremes with me.
BECAUSE I WAS NOT THEIR CHILD.
Despite how much they may (or may not) have loved me as their own, I was not their kid. I was someone else's.
So they did the things they did, had the reactions that they had, because they didn't want to have something really bad happen to me, and then have to try and explain it my father (my Aunt's brother).
But wow, some of this stuff is just shock and awe. I'm still reading as I write this, tabbing back and forth, back and forth...
HAHA, oh wow. There's like almost a whole year between posts here. It begins with post-High School life, so it will probably be less interesting.
Apparently I was sick a lot in Utah, it's mentioned every 3 or so posts. That's funny.
Yes, you can feel free to read my Xanga. Remember, these are posts of the past, when I was 16, 17, 18, and possible some 19 in there too, I haven't gotten that far yet.
I like to think that I've grown as a person (mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever else-ally) and that the way I was then, the experiences I went through, the decisions I made, and the consequences I faced, have helped me to become the person I am today.
A 21 year old woman, who is a Medic in the United States Army, is working towards getting her college degree, and is getting married soon.
I like to think that I've done at least a little something with my life, something to make someone proud.
I know my Daddy is, he tells me every time we talk.
